Monday, November 7, 2016

Movement Monday: Why Are You Afraid to Commit to Yourself?

Welcome to Movement Monday!  This started as an email I sent weekly to my customers and clients designed to motivate continued action to achieve a desired goal throughout the week.  My mission is to provide the "want to" when it comes to reaching YOUR goal because the "how to" is different for every body and every goal.  When you are constantly seeking the truth, you will find exactly what you need.  Each email contains a subject, practical suggestions or encouragement surrounding the subject and powerful quotes that support the weekly theme.  After a big shift in my life, I am motivated to share my email with everyone!  My email subscribers will still receive an abridged version with a link to the full details here.

Many people believe they know what they want.  They have a desire for the short term -- lose weight, have more energy, make more money, get out of debt, have more fun and the list goes on.  Deciding what you want is the easy part.  Having the desire to improve a part of our lives is the easy part.

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." -- Mario Andretti

But like the saying goes, "if it were easy, everyone would do it."  Wanting the improvement is easy, committing to the plan to achieve it is difficult, if not impossible, for most and thus many are stuck in a cycle of continuous desire.  We never attain whatever it is we wish to have or we greatly diminish the outcome, simply because we're afraid to commit to a plan to get us what we want.  Long-term the cycle of wanting and never fully reaching leaves us feeling empty and significantly reduces our self-confidence making us believe that we were never meant to have whatever it was we desired anyway.

As a health and fitness coach and an avid believer of living an intentional life, I see this time and time again with people that come to me for help with weight loss.  Even though I can spot it almost immediately in others lives, I too struggle with a lack of commitment when it comes to going for things I really want.  It led me to wonder why is it so hard for anyone to stick with a plan to help them reach their goal?

"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all know that it's not enough to have the intention of changing; we have to act on that intention for things to get better.  Many of us know what it is we need to do, but how many of us actually do what we know to do?  Not only must we do what we know to do just once, we must do it consistently.  Consistent action on the planned and critical tasks needed to reach your goal is the key to getting what you want in life.  We must commit to acting consistently and it's that commitment that scares most people.

The term 'commitment-phobe' is typically reserved for people that are afraid to commit to a relationship, but in reality, it applies to everyone who is afraid to make a commitment.  At the heart of all fear is the dread that something might be lost. Noncommittal people in general fear being 'trapped' and losing, as they see it, their freedom.  Someone who has trouble committing may fear losing options, but every decision we make in life, by definition, means losing other options. No matter what you do, there is always another kind of life you could have lived. A commitment-phobe fears making the 'wrong decision'.

"Competing in sports has taught me that if I'm not willing to give 120 percent, somebody else will." -- Warren Farrell

When you are desiring a change in your life, you must make a commitment to the actions that will bring about the change and that 'loss of freedom' is due to that uncomfortable feeling of change.  It is human nature to choose comfortable actions over uncomfortable ones.  In fact, there is a portion of the brain, the amygdala, that reacts negatively when we are facing risks.  It's very helpful in avoiding danger, but when is desiring a better future for yourself dangerous?

The sad part of all of this, is that we sit in this never ending cycle of desiring and never attaining, afraid to make a commitment to ourselves and our dreams.  We believe we know what to do, yet we will not commit to doing it.  Why?

There are several reasons why I believe we choose to neglect our own desires and I promise to dig deeper into them next week.  Do you recognize this fear of commitment to yourself in yourself?  Some tale-tale signs of a fear of commitment:

  1. Making the same 'New Year Resolution' every year 
  2. Losing and regaining a large amount of weight
  3. Getting into and out of shape
In the meantime if you can't wait until next week's edition, join me and a few of my friends who are learning how to commit to having a great holiday season in my #fALLDONE group.  Doing something for yourself doesn't have to be scary.  Working through change in a comfortable setting with all the support you desire can make it fun.  You deserve to have everything you desire and in this group, I'm committed to helping you get there.  

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