Push THROUGH the End

Welcome to Movement Monday!  This started as an email I sent weekly to my customers and clients designed to motivate continued action to achieve a desired goal throughout the week.  My mission is to provide the "want to" when it comes to reaching YOUR goal because the "how to" is different for every body and every goal.  When you are constantly seeking the truth, you will find exactly what you need.  Each email contains a subject, practical suggestions or encouragement surrounding the subject and powerful quotes that support the weekly theme.  After a big shift in my life, I am motivated to share my email with everyone!  My email subscribers will still receive an abridged version with a link to the full details here

If you're like a good number of people, you've already given up on your 2016 goals, especially if they involve anything with your health and fitness.  I've seen steadily dwindling numbers in all of my group exercise classes since Halloween and I know in the last two weeks of the year the gym will seem like a desolate place.  The holidays seem to be the perfect time to take a break or give up altogether, with the idea that you'll rededicate yourself in the new year.

"Integrity is keeping a commitment even after circumstances have changed." -- David Jeremiah

Going through such dramatic changes is the perfect ingredient for disaster.  Don't fool yourself into thinking you can flip the switch on January 1.  The goals you set for your life should change your life.  Have you heard the words, "It's a lifestyle change," when it comes to reaching your ideal weight?  Well that statement really applies to any and every goal you are setting.

"You're always a student, never a master.  You have to keep moving forward." --  Conrad Hall

Yes!  You will have to overcome some tough challenges to reach your goal.  These tests are meant to mentally prepare you to accept the reward you wish to attain.  Remember, the reason the current you does not yet have want it is you want is because you are not mentally or physically strong enough to accept it.  Giving up now with the intention of starting again only proves that you are not ready to receive what you so desperately wish to have.

Regardless of the goal, you can still make progress during this time of year.  This will make the transition into the new year a smooth one; building on the momentum you set now.  Use these ideas to help you push through the end of the year.

1. Remember, all progress counts!  One of my virtual mentor's stated that "Life Is Movement."  Think about it.  Things are constantly changing and moving.  As long as you are living, your body continues to change.  You cease to change when you die.  Does this mean that when you refuse to change or when your stop changing, you are dead?  Well, essentially, yes!  It doesn't matter how fast you get there, as long as you get there.  Keep placing one foot in front of the other until you reach your destination.

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." -- Victor Kiam

2. Push Harder!  It always gets tougher at the end or just before a big breakthrough.  When reaching your goal gets tough, it's time pick up the pace and renew your enthusiasm. It's time to revisit why you want what you want.  Ask yourself what achieving your goal will allow you to do.  Visualize what it will look and feel like to finish!  Use this to help you push harder.  Don't be afraid to fight for your goal. 

"You have to keep pushing towards those dreams no matter what setbacks happen." -- Anthony Hamilton

3. Get focused.  Staying focused may be difficult during this time of year.  With the changes in schedules and the addition of new or different activities, it can definitely be a challenge to stay on task.  Multi-tasking is a myth.  Your brain can only manage one thoughtful activity at a time.  Attempting to multi-task only leaves you exhausted with fewer accomplishments because you spend more energy trying to "context switch" between tasks that require though.  Instead of trying to tackle a lot of different important activities at the same time, try to set small increments of focused time to tackle the important items on you list.  Schedule small breaks in between tasks to allow for your brain to recover and pick it back up again.

"Never give up, and be confident in what you do.  There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all odds." -- Marta

The holidays are a great time to celebrate life.  Remember this as you consider quitting or taking a break from the work required to reach your goals.  It's fun to celebrate the life you have, especially while working to build the life you want.  Imagine the celebration next year as you continue to push through the end of this year.  Give yourself the best opportunity to truly enjoy that celebration by building momentum now.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop." -- Confuscius

Movement Monday: How to Make a Commitment to Yourself

Welcome to Movement Monday!  This started as an email I sent weekly to my customers and clients designed to motivate continued action to achieve a desired goal throughout the week.  My mission is to provide the "want to" when it comes to reaching YOUR goal because the "how to" is different for every body and every goal.  When you are constantly seeking the truth, you will find exactly what you need.  Each email contains a subject, practical suggestions or encouragement surrounding the subject and powerful quotes that support the weekly theme.  After a big shift in my life, I am motivated to share my email with everyone!  My email subscribers will still receive an abridged version with a link to the full details here.

Many people believe they know what they want.  They have a desire for the short term -- lose weight, have more energy, make more money, get out of debt, have more fun and the list goes on.  Deciding what you want is the easy part.  Having the desire to improve a part of our lives is the easy part.  Making the commitment to get it done is a completely different story.

"Intent reveals desire; action reveals commitment." -- Dr. Steve Maraboli

This is post is a continuation from last week, so if you haven't checked it out yet, I encourage you to get the details right here so you are not lost.

So why are we afraid to make commitments to ourselves?  After all the results directly affects our own lives.  It would seem that making commitments to oneself would be simple.  Yet, people waiver when it comes to committing to the process of self improvement.

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality." -- Abraham Lincoln

So let's talk about how to make and keep commitments period.  I will encourage you to use this to help you with an item you've been wavering on.

1 - Name your fear.

As previously mentioned, most failure to commit to related to fear.  Fear of missing out, fear of losing options, fear of losing your freedom, fear of failure.  So I will first encourage you to ask yourself: what exactly are you afraid of?  What will you be missing out on?  Could it be that your chosen coarse of action to get you to your goal is simply not for you?  What exactly do you fear losing?  Does the reward of reaching your goal trump what you may be leaving behind? Do you fear being trapped and restricted?  Do you not realize that reaching your goal gives you more options which is more freedom?Do you fear not reaching your goal and simply feel safer if you don't even try?  Long term, can you really be happy with that?  Lastly, as mentioned last week, many people have a simple fear of the unknown due to the amygdala.  Luckily there is a portion of the brain that counterbalances the amygdala called the prefrontal cortex (PFC). The PFC lights up when you imagine greatness for yourself in the future.  Your brain grows strong in the area that is used the most.  Unfortunately, while the amygdala seems to strengthen without really thinking about it, we have to intentionally choose to strengthen the PFC.  A great way to do this is daily affirmations.

"Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but because of lack of commitment." -- Vince Lombardi

2 - Decide to be more decisive  

Indecisiveness becomes a habit over time. Whenever we make a decision about anything, we are committing to it - at least for the time being. If commitment to any decision has been a problem for you, then start practicing being more decisive in lots of small ways.  Realize that indecisiveness is also a decision.  Something will happen whether you actively choose it or not.  A great decision is usually made with less-than-perfect information, along with your brain and your gut. Take time to look at an issue from different angles and then trust yourself to act.

3 - Create a strong desire
In order to fully commit to anything, you need a clear and personally compelling reason.  Without a strong desire, you will struggle when the work gets tough.  Make sure you fully understand what it is you want and most importantly why you want it.  Attempting a life change for someone else will never work.  I've seen it time and time again.  People desiring to lose weight to make their significant other happy.  Someone else's suggestions or comments will never create a strong enough desire to get you through the challenging work of change.

"There is a difference between interest and commitment.  When you're interested in doing something, you only do it when it's convenient.  When you're committed to doing something, you accept no excuses; only results." -- Kenneth Blanchard 

4 - Identify the key actions
It is important to understand which core actions will produce the result you are after.  In most endeavors there are often many activities that help you accomplish your goal.  However there are usually a few key activities that account for a majority of the results.  It is important to identify these activities, because after all, our ultimate goal is to get results.

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” -- Margaret Thatcher

5 - Count the costs
It's true.  Commitments require sacrifice, but in all that effort, there are also benefits and rewards.  Too often we fail to identify the true cost of reaching our goal and this make it difficult to keep our commitments.  Costs to consider include time, money, risk, uncertainty, loss of comfort, and so on.  Identifying the costs before you commit allows you to consciously choose whether you are willing to pay the price of your commitment.  When and if you face any of these anticipated costs, it is helpful to recognize that you foresaw them and previously decided that reaching your goal was worth it.

We are digging deep and working through these steps in my current online health and fitness accountability group.  You can definitely go through it alone, but having the support of a group of people and a coach makes it less scary and more fun!  I will always encourage you to join us at anytime because it's better to start now, than not at all.  Make that commitment to yourself!

Cauliflower is the New Carb

Who new Cauliflower could be such a trickster?  I've seen many uses for cauliflower on social media, but was always a little skeptical if I could really 'secretly' replace it for some of our starchy staples.  My go-to taste-tester, my teenage son, has grown up sampling many of my food experiments, both good and not so good.  He's typically a good sport and will not only give most things a try, but give me his honest opinion.  He was cool with my Roasted Garlic Faux Mashed Potatoes and even had seconds, but when my dad, who is a super stubborn carb-lover enjoyed them too, I knew I should explore a few more ideas.

I really wanted to try cauliflower pizza crust, but I was only searching halfheartedly because I was warned it was a ton of work and a lot of time for a single meal.  Although I enjoy being in the kitchen, my schedule does not allow for wasted kitchen time.  Plus, some of the pictures I saw of others pizza on the cauliflower crust really didn't look all that appetizing.  I really wanted my son to enjoy a slice or two and I knew that would not happen if it didn't look like a regular pizza.

So, I searched the internet and came up with this recipe: The Secret to Perfect Cauliflower Pizza Crust.  The title alone made me take a look, because it sounded like exactly what I was looking for.

Showing off the Sous Chef

Plus any opportunity to chop up things in my lovely food processor is exciting.  I highly recommend making the investment, if you haven't already.  It saves a tremendous amount of time.

'Riced' Cauliflower

If you don't have a food processor and want to quickly 'rice' your cauliflower, use a large cheese grater.  Just watch those fingers as you get close to the end!

Boiling the cauli-rice is quick and simple.  Straining it is not if you don't have the right sized strainer.  I ended up buying a super-sized strainer after making this crust because I knew I would make it again and saving time is a must!










If you peeked at the recipe link, you'll know the secret is right here; squeezing the cauli-rice dry.  The cauli-rice will be super hot, so if you have those rubber oven-mitts, use them.















Finally mix up your crust.  The recipe link used goat cheese.  Since I'm not a big fan, I used fresh grated Parmesan.

Crust Ingrediants

Raw crust

The crust was easy to mix and then press into my heart-shaped pizza pan.  You want to keep it pretty thin.  Mine was about 1/4 inch.

Voila!  I LOVE this crust!!

Baked crust

Most importantly, my teen did too!  Here's the pic from my social media post recreating an old Valentine's Day photo.  I know the nutrients in this year's heart crust far out-weight those in the past.  I truly know how to LOVE my family!  XOXO

EX FIX Chicken - Sweet Potato - Kale Soup

Cold weather causes me to crave soup.  Now that Fall is is full effect and the weather is starting to get a little cooler I want to perfect a few soup recipes to ensure I stay on track when I'm hiding under a few layers..

Right now in Texas, where I live, the cooler temps just means the outdoors are starting to become enjoyable again.  I won't need to start bundling up for at least another month.  But for my mom, who lives is in Colorado where I grew up, the outdoor temperatures are beginning to get down right chilly.  Especially in the morning and evening. People start pulling out their layers to deal with the wide range of temperatures throughout the day.

Regardless of where you live, as temperatures start to drop, nothing warms you better than a delicious bowl of soup!  Sure, nothing warms you like a tasty mug of hot cocoa, but hot cocoa is simply a treat, not a meal.  This tasty nutrient rich soup will warm your soul and keep you on track during the fall and winter months.

EZ FIX Chicken - Sweet Potato - Kale Soup

Ingredients:

• 2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
• 1 medium onion, diced
  
• 3 C Cubed Cooked Chicken breast (I doubled my Green Chile chicken and added the 2nd batch to the soup)
• 1 Large sweet potato, cubed
• 3 C Kale chopped
• 4 C Chicken Broth
• 4 C Water
• 1 tsp. Freshly Ground Black Pepper
• 2 tsp. Cumin
• 1 tsp. Basil
• 1 tsp. Oregano
• 1 tsp. Marjoram
• 2 tsp. Thyme
• ½ tsp. Pink Himalayan Sea Salt

Directions:

1. Cook onions in olive oil in a large stock pot.. ( I used a crock pot on low overnight for this batch)
2. Add remaining ingredients
3. Bring to a boil.
4. Reduce heat and Cook until potatoes are tender.

To serve: 

Pour 2 Cups in your favorite soup bowl or mug and ENJOY!

FIX proportions: 2 Cups = 1 Red, 2 Green, ½ Yellow, 1 ½ teaspoons

Take Me Back to Jamaica - Jerk Chicken and Shrimp

Jerk Pork Chop Dinner

Only a few short months ago, I had the honor of watching two dear friends commit their lives to one another in the beautiful city of Negril, Jamaica.  Everything I went through to ensure I could keep my commitment and witness this once in a lifetime event was out of this world and enough for a completely different blog post that I'll have to share soon, but it made my time there even more special.  I will always remember the inviting hospitality, the welcoming atmosphere, the great company of old and new friends alike, the beautiful beaches and of course the delicious jerk seasoning they had on several of the dishes I tried.

My crew

When I first decided to make jerk 'something' I was in search of something I could make that would be tasty enough for me and exciting enough that my teenage son wouldn't get bored with the leftovers.  I remembered a Jerk Catfish recipe from a Cooking Light magazine I did a few years back and luckily I still had the seasoning.  Have you ever found yourself trying out new recipe that calls for a whole bunch of seasonings you don't actually carry in your kitchen?  You go out an buy it and then never really use it again!  I got so fed up with my overflowing non-existent spice cupboard that when I moved out of that house I took a spice purchasing sabbatical.  I was only allowed to buy common spices when I ran out.

Selfie time!

I digress, so back to my dilemma with the Jerk Catfish seasoning...When I checked the ingredients of the seasoning blend, I saw the first item listed was SUGAR!  "Nooooo!," I thought.  This would not do for my 21 Day Fix Extreme eating, so I searched online for a sugar free version.  I settled with this recipe:  http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1014722-no-fuss-jerk-chicken, and it did not disappoint.  Even though I did not have all the ingredients, I had enough to make it work.  I actually doubled the recipe so I could use it with the shrimp and chicken I had.  I will list a single batch recipe as I made it, but check out the link for the true recipe as I'm sure I will go through the effort to get some of the real stuff next time, if they make sense.

Jerk Chicken (or Shrimp, or whatever you choose!)

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 Tablespoons ground Allspice
• 1 Tablespoon dried Thyme

  

  Mixed seasonings

• 4 cloves garlic
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Jalapenos (the spice factor for jalapenos is very low compared to the habanero chiles.  I wanted to be sure my son would eat this first time around)
• 6 scallions, roughly chopped
• 1 Tablespoon fresh ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon pink Himalayan sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 2-inch piece of fresh ginger thickly sliced
• 2 tsp coconut oil
• Juice of 2 large limes
• 1 1/2 pounds of boneless chicken tenders, shrimp or whatever you choose

Marinating...

Directions:

Broiled Jerk Shrimp

1. Combine allspice, thyme, garlic, jalapenos (or chiles), scallions, peppercorns, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and lime juice in a blender or food processor and grind to a rough paste.
2. Put meat in a baking dish or plastic Ziploc bag.  Add seasoning paste and coat well.
3. Cover dish or seal bag tightly and marinate, refrigerated, for at least 6 hours, but preferably overnight.
4. Heat oven to 350 degrees for chicken or turn on broiler for shrimp.
5. Bring meat to room temperature.
6. Bake/Broil uncovered until well browned and juices run clear when probed with a paring knife - about 20-25 minutes for chicken tenders and 10 minutes for shrimp, turning halfway.

Meal packaged for RJ

Servings: Use your red container to measure your protein, but I found that 1 Red container = 1 1/2 - 2 tenders or 10 shrimp.  This was easy to add with the veggies I roasted during the week or I added them to a spinach salad and sometimes paired with a sweet potato.


Enjoy Mon!

1. 

Fish n' Fries

Who eats fish and fries a.k.a fish n' chips while they're watching what they eat?

Me! Me! Me!  Especially if the fish is broiled and the fries are made from carrots.  Not only is this meal much healthier than the fried version, it is also much quicker to prepare and much quicker to clean up.

So tell me... are you a "Fish n' Fry" person or a "Fish n' Chip" person?  If you're a 'fish n' chipper', you can easily switch out the carrot sticks for carrot coins.

I hope this recipe saves your dinner by letting it be known that you can have fish n' fries (or fish n' chips) when eating healthy, regardless of what you like to call them.

Fish n' Fries

Ingredients:

• 2 baking sheets lined with foil
• 1 1/2 pounds catfish nuggets
• 1 pound carrot sticks (~3 C)
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 Tablespoon chili powder
• 1 Tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 Tablespoon cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon pink Himalayan sea salt

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees
2. Combine chili powder, garlic powder, cumin and salt in a small bowl
3. Place carrot stick in a bowl and toss with the olive oil and 1/3 (~1 Tablespoon) of the seasoning mix.
4. Place carrot mixture on 1st baking sheet
5. Bake at 425 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until carrot stick are tender and start to crisp
6. While the carrot sticks are baking, toss the catfish nuggets with the remaining seasoning.  Mix well.
7. Add fish mixture to the 2nd baking sheet.
8. When carrot sticks are finished, turn on the oven broiler.
9. Place fish in broiler for 10 minutes, turning at minute 6.

Servings: 4 - 1 Red & 1 Green  

Perfectly Tempting Pork Tenderloin

I just have to say before I share this recipe, that if you love food (OK, who doesn't?), but don't enjoy cooking or cleaning up, you MUST get a Ninja!  Not only can slow cook, bake, roast and more with it.  But it comes with an awesome recipe booklet which was the start of this recipe.  OK, now that I've given the appropriate shout out to my favorite kitchen tool,  I will share my recipe based off their "Herb-Roasted Pork Tenderloins & Potatoes" recipe.

Perfectly Tempting Pork Tenderloin

Prep: 10 minutes

Cook: 45 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 pounds red potatoes, cut in quarters (or eighths)
• 1 large onion, cut into wedges
• 1 1/2 - 2 pounds baby carrots
• 2 Tablespoons olive oil
• 2 teaspoons smoked chili powder
• 2 teaspoons cumin
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoons Himalayan sea salt
• 1 large pork tenderloin (about 3 pounds)
• 1 1/2 C chicken broth

Directions:

1. Combine chili and garlic powders, cumin and salt.
2. Cut potatoes, onion and carrots and combine in a large bowl.  Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of seasoning mixture.  Toss to coat.  (If you are not using a Ninja, go ahead and toss in a roasting pan.)
3. Rub the pork with the remaining Tablespoon of olive oil and the remaining seasoning.
4. Place the tenderloin in your Ninja pot and cook for about 10 minutes on the STOVETOP setting.  (If you do not a Ninja, you can do this in a skillet.)  Cook until it's browned on all sides, then remove from the pot.
5. Pour the chicken broth into the pot.  Add in the potatoes, carrots and onion mix.
6. Set the roasting rack on top and add the browned tenderloin onto the rack.
7. Cover and cook at 375, checking after the first 20 minutes or so.
8. Make sure pork is cooked through.

Final Meals Prepped for the week!

Servings: Depending on the time of day, grab 1 Yellow of potatoes with 1 Green of carrots (about 8-10 depending on the size) and 1 Red of tenderloin (about 2 slices depending on the thickness).  I had about 8 servings if eating this way, but I like to use the tenderloin for sandwiches and wraps too!


Alternatives: Use any of the 21 Day Fix Seasonings to season this recipe.

Mustard-Glazed Cod

Mustard Glazed Cod Dinner

Eating healthy doesn't mean boring!  Eating is an experience to be enjoyed.  This quick and easy cod dish is a great start to experiencing a healthy dinner.

I got this recipe from the TeamBeachbody Meal Planner that is available at the Club Membership level.  I then modified it to fit the 21 Day Fix portions.  This recipe was so easy and delicious that it will make it back in my meal prep rotation soon.

Mustard Glazed Cod

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Servings: 3

Raw cod fillets

Ingredients:

• 1 lbs cod, raw
• 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon dijon mustard
• 1 teaspoon basil, dried

Directions:

Glazed cod before cooking

1. Preheat oven to 450°F.
2. Rinse fish and pat it dry with a paper towel.
3. Lightly coat a shallow baking pan with nonstick cooking spray.
4. Place fish in prepared pan, tucking under any thin edges.
5. Combine olive oil with lemon juice, mustard and basil.
6. Pour sauce over fish, and bake for 4 to 6 minutes per 1/2 inch thickness of fish or until fish flakes easily with fork.



Cooked, flaky cod

7. When ready to serve, place fish on serving plate and spoon sauce over top.

Servings: 1/3 fish is 1 Red and 1 teaspoon.

I enjoyed this dish with 1 Green of sauteed asparagus and 1 Green of Zoodles (zucchinni noodles).  Total meal was 1 Red, 2 Green and 2 teaspoons.


To get your own copy of the 21 Day Fix and join an upcoming group, go to: 21 Day FIx Deal

Taking Extreme Measures

As a recovering approval whore, I had to make a long term commitment to myself to do something for me, regardless of others actions or perceived thoughts.  Anyone who struggles with the dreadful "Disease to Please" might understand my desperate need to put a stake in the ground and stand firm on something I wanted for myself.  It is exhausting living the life you think other people want you to live instead of living your life as you desire.  Even if you don't think you suffer from this disease, be wary, as its symptoms are so subtle that you may not really recognize it. However, if you often feel guilty saying "No," constantly feel the need to explain to others the reason for your decisions or feel resentment towards others for not accomplishing the goals you have set for yourself, you may want to give consideration to this disease and find out more.   

So, I chose to do an extreme workout (not a problem for this workout junkie) AND a disciplined nutrition regimen for 21 days (HUGE personal challenge).  I know 21 days may not seem like a lot to some, but you'd be surprised what can come up in 21 days.  Disciplined nutrition over a longer period of time than 3-4 days has always been my downfall.  Part of it was not knowing what to do, but a lot of it is related to my lack of self-discipline spurred by the erratic people-pleasing syndrome from which I suffer.

My progression into this People-Pleasing syndrome, although rather interesting when I look back on it, is actually quite common.  Although my story may not fit exactly with yours or someone else you know who suffers from this affliction, I would think you could relate.  My original desire to look a certain way spurred by what I thought would make people like me.  Like most, this ugly disease started when I was a child.  I grew up as the Black girl in a predominantly Caucasian suburban area.  I couldn't change the fact that I was Black, but I could change my size.  I'd rather be just the Black girl and not the Big Black girl.


What's so thought-provoking to me is that the same disease that drives me to look a certain way also prevents me from it.  Somehow, I can't find it in me to stay committed to what it is I said I wanted to do.  My noncompliance is so subtle, and my pleasing affliction so strong, that I don't even recognize it happening.  On any given week I'll receive dozens of invitations to get thrown off track.  Whether it be an impromptu team lunch, chocolates, cake or other treats offered in the workplace, requests to attend parties, celebrations, drinks with friends or an 'off-site' meeting disguising all the above.  It's easy to decline most impromptu work offerings with the statement, "Oh, I brought my lunch today," or "Sorry, I have errands to run," but difficulty arrises when I have set a time for my commitment and it happens to interfere with someone else's planned event.

Realistically, these invites are truly great because in all cases, except the passing off of sugar treats around the office, these invites mean people enjoy me enough to want me to be around.   It's not the invites that are a detrimental deterrent to my rigorous plans, but rather the urge to say "yes" to the invite for all the wrong reasons.  This compulsion is pushed by the fear that if I turn someone down too many times, I will no longer be invited.  I will no longer be included.  I may no longer be liked!  Say what?!  It's such a vicious cycle!

Like any disease involving the psyche, there is a denial or an involuntary cover up.  I would mask my issues and create valid reasons in my mind as to why it was OK to back off my original plan.  The simple phrase was, "Well I'm X so I should have a little Y."  You can add your most common X and Y. My common X would be "a single mom",  or "I work hard" and Y could be anything from a "piece of cake" to a "glass of wine" to a "fun night out!"  The Y's would come up, simply because people asked and I somehow felt obligated to say "yes", regardless of what it was I had originally planned for myself.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?  Or am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."  Galations 1:10 (ESV)

With my current plan for 21 Days, I thought I could handle the events that were currently on my calendar by either skipping or following through with proven techniques to keep me on track.  These techniques were as simple as bringing my own food to a party or bringing the healthy dish.  I was fine with doing that, but I was surprised by all of the unplanned temptations that nearly persuaded me back into "whore"-dom -- random party invites, dinner invites, charity events with amazing chefs who paired dishes with wine, an open box of fresh Belguim chocolates offered in my office by a manager straight from a business trip in Brussels!  The list goes on and on.

"The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe" Proverbs 29:25 (NKJV)

I thank God for a friend who brought me back to reality, in the most unexpected way.  He had purchased 2 tickets to a charity event being offered by the Austin Food and Wine Alliance and asked if I was free.  "Aaargh!" I thought because technically, I was free.  I responded as such, thanked him for the invite and courageously told him how I wanted to curse him at the same time because of what I was doing.  My diseased brain was starting to waver, especially after viewing the link he sent and seeing what delicious food would be prepared at the event; none of which was on my plan.  However, his support for what I was doing for me set me straight.  Not only did it spark a renewed commitment to myself and gave me the courage to handle the 15 other traps I would be lured into during the next week, including the chocolates which I kindly accepted, but haven't touched.  My exchange with him really helped me to reconsider why I was doing this and what it would mean for my ability to reach my goals by wavering.  I finally could be confident enough to say "YES" to me!

I could sum things up with those last two sentences, but it's really more than just a simple reconsideration of my goals.  My friend and his temptation was providentially placed at the right place at the right time.  The reality is, I've been intentionally working on conquering my "disease to please" for quite some time and only recently have I connected the dots.

I've been asked numerous times in various forms, "How is it that I know what to do, but just can't seem to do it?"  I always boiled this question down to a person's "why."  I would ask them, "Why are you doing it?  How will it make you feel to accomplish your goal?"  The last 2 statements in the last paragraph about saying yes to me really boiled down to my why.  The reality is that this commitment to doing what I say I will do goes far beyond a "why". You can have a compelling why, but if you don't have the confidence to go for it, you will not succeed.

I am able to stand stronger because I have been intentionally working on my self-confidence.  People-pleasing erodes your self-confidence.  Understanding what God's purpose is for your life and boldly going forward with it, regardless of the obstacles not only highlights your trust in His plan and your belief in His journey,  but builds your self-confidence.  I plan to share more about what I'm doing to build my confidence.  Seeing this journey that I've decided to take for me through is just one thing.  Stay tuned...

While Googling "The Disease to Please," I came across a great article from a Christian author who has provided me with so much value through one her books, Made to Crave.  Lysa TerKeurst provides such pragmatic insight into handling some of our daily hangups through scripture. Check out http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/overcoming-the-need-to-please-disease/.  If you would like to join me in my free online accountability group where we go through Made to Crave or any other accountability group, please go to https://getyourlife.techifiness.com and fill out the form.